“Ladies, stand back while I assess the situation!”

“I said stand back Annoying White Chicken or you will feel the wrath of Evil!”

“You’re not the boss of me Evil. Hey LADY, where are my tasty corn bits??”

“Don’t listen to her! All of you may kiss my toes now and bow to my super amazing rooster awesomeness!!”

“Hey LADY, throw me some corn bits. My lovely lady hens are uprising and my toes need kissed!”

Things I’ve learned about drywall.

1. We are ridiculously slow.
2. I need bigger muscles.
3. You can use your head as a third arm.

Starting this project was a little bit intimidating since neither of us had much experience with drywalling. Lee read lots of books, watched videos, and finally it was time for us to start. We looked like giraffes trying to roller skate while putting up that first sheet.

Lee made two drywall T’s which came in handy.

A new project such as this required new tools. Lee was very excited to try out his new Dewalt drywall screw gun. A few minutes later, the muttering started from his general direction. Let’s just say that doing a new task with a new tool while being slightly OCD does not make sinking drywall screws any easier. After developing about 200 new white hairs, practicing on a scrap piece of drywall, and searching the internet to figure out what he was doing wrong, Lee switched over to a small cordless screwdriver. It gave him more control than the fast moving screw gun. Maybe with a little more experience he can switch back to the new tool.

Lee got to use another new tool, a drywall router, when we came to the first fixture box. I think he developed 5 new wrinkles in that process. Lesson learned: extend the router bit more so it actually follows the fixture.

We got to the second fixture box and learned another lesson. Don’t apply too much pressure to the drywall or it will bust when you are still cutting the hole. I think Lee lost a day off his life to that one.

The third fixture box went slightly better and the fourth box went fairly smooth. I say fairly because while it routered out well, the process started with a little Marco-Polo exercise. We forgot to mark the box location before we installed the drywall.

The first screw lines started out pretty lousy.

The later screw lines got much better. Lee is still having problems getting the screws to not tear out at the butt joints. If someone has a wonderful piece of advice on that, please do share!! I think this is the first time he has wished that a 2×4 was actually 2″ wide.

Man, oh man, what a beautiful sight! Lee knew we would get to this stage but I have to say there were times when I had my doubts. The drywall makes it seem like a real house, not just a bunch of ideas that are so very far from completion. I am so happy!!

We finished the stairwell drywall tonight. I think it’s about time for me to start singing love songs to my new drywall. Or maybe I should run up and down our street screaming “I HAVE DRYWALL!!!” I did tell a few neighbors I was going to do that.

As December drew to a close, Robin and I considered writing a traditional year end review. Highlights would have included the house facelift, shed construction, and chicken debacle, but the most significant milestones of our past year were beyond such things. Rather than write a post that felt empty by comparison, we decided to write something more meaningful. This will not be a regular feature of our blog–the normal parade of projects and levity will continue in 2012.

Robin and I were both raised in the same high control religion. For many churchgoers, religion is a Sunday activity. For us, religion defined our lives. It told us what to believe, how to live, and what to think. From childhood, we were taught that only our religion was true, and that very soon our God would kill the 99.9% of people who believed differently. We were taught to be fearful of non-believers, and friendships outside the religion were strongly discouraged, even with family members.

Over the last several years, Robin and I separately came to the realization that our religious beliefs were a sham, built entirely upon fear, emotional manipulation, and misrepresented facts. We knew our life would be simpler if we maintained the pretext of belief, but intellectual dishonesty would have violated our integrity. By the beginning of 2011, we had made it clear to our family that we still loved them unconditionally but we no longer accepted their religion.

Unfortunately, extreme beliefs are fragile and require extreme measures to protect. As dictated by their religion, nearly all our friends and family began to shun us immediately. This meant that they regarded us as dead until such time as we accepted their religion again. Believers convince themselves that this type of emotional blackmail is a loving act. As my mom said to me during a rare phone call, “In the Old Testament, parents threw the first stone when a child left the true faith.” (i.e. To shun your child is more loving than to stone them to death.)

It’s a terrible thing to be thrown away by your family. The mind fluctuates between denial, anger, depression … all the stages of grief. We grieved for the relationships we had lost and for the people we thought they were.

At the same time, Robin and I were determined not to live in isolation, crippled by our childhood indoctrination. We pushed past our irrational fear of outsiders and resolved to find new friends, reconnect with non-believing family members, and reintegrate ourselves into society. For two introverts trying to rebuild their lives from scratch, our efforts were surprisingly successful.

We can honestly say that 2011 was one of the best years we have experienced, despite the trauma of losing our family. We have met many amazing people this past year who have welcomed us into their lives and their homes. We’ve had dinners and grand conversations over wine, debated books and ideas, and shared stories and grief. Each and every one of these people will forever be dear to us for their kindness and concern.

In late November the year took a tragic turn. A close relative of mine in his late 20′s committed suicide. He had been raised in the same religion, and while he never questioned it’s validity he found it impossible to conform to its rules. To avoid being shunned, he attempted to live two lives, and the resultant discord wrecked his self esteem. He never spoke of thoughts of suicide, but religious guilt and fear of abandonment weighed heavily on his mind.

Robin and I found no closure at his funeral. The service spoke little about the man who had died and much about the dogma he had been expected to follow. To be present in a room full of people mourning someone in death whom they would have shunned in life was one of the single most hypocritical displays I have ever seen.

While progress around the homestead was slow this past year, we invested in our personal development and it was definitely a better use for our time. The end of 2011 finds us far happier, well adjusted, and better connected than at the beginning, partly because we have a new circle of friends and family who judge people based on their character and not the conformity of their beliefs.

Robin and I are excited about the new year, and look forward to continued progress both in our personal lives and on this wreck of a homestead. We wish all of you out there the best in 2012.

Jack hunts all night and then sleeps on our bed during the day. When she is standing on me in morning purring furiously and rubbing, I try not to think about where else that face has been.

I should note a couple of nice things about the breed before I start complaining:

• They are pretty.
• They are excellent at foraging.
• They are very alert and unlikely to be eaten by predators.

As chicks the Lakenvelders were extremely dominate over the other breeds and would beat them up. The male Lakenvelders reached chicken puberty about a month early and it was all downhill from there. We soon had to separate all the non-Lakenvelder chickens from the piranhas (as we came to call them).

The Lakenvelder rooster violence was partly our fault. We kept holding off butchering because the roosters were so tiny and it was our first time butchering chickens by ourselves. If we were to do it again we would have culled the tiny roosters and just composted them. It would have been better management on our part, I think, and we wouldn’t have had so many shredded hens.

One of the most annoying Lakenvelder rooster traits was their crowing. They NEVER stopped. Listening to continuous crowing all day was literally making Lee and I irrationally angry. We were originally going to keep at least one rooster but decided against it for the sake of our sanity.

The Lakenvelder breed is very flighty. This is a good trait for a foraging breed, granted, but an annoying trait when you walk into their pen everyday and they are trying to kill themselves getting away from you. The hens are very good at flying so we have about four that roost high up in the trees at night

The hens lay tiny, and I do mean tiny eggs. I knew they would lay smaller eggs when I got them, but I was not expecting the actual scale (or rather lack there of). Even worse, with the short winter days the hens have completely stopped laying. Every other breed we’ve tried has still laid all winter without supplemental light. By comparison, our original 2 1/2 year old hens (who need to be retired) are still laying at about half their usual rate.

So here Lee and I are stuck with 7 Lakenvelder hens and we don’t know what to do with them. They are too small to be worth the trouble to butcher, they aren’t laying eggs, and I don’t think I could even catch them to sell them. I don’t suppose that anyone reading this blog is desperate for some backyard Lakenvelder hens after reading this indictment of the breed?

Lee and I feel like every new chicken breed we ordered this year has been a failure for various reasons. As mistakes go, it hasn’t been that expensive. At least you gain experience from your failures. We’ll think twice before ordering another “good forager” in the future. I’m not sure the high cost in frustration is worth the potentially small savings in food.

I got busy stacking and soon there was a very straight pile. Our wood stove doesn’t seem to mind burning furniture grade material.

When the olive oil freezes on the kitchen counter, it’s time to stoke up the woodstove.

As a placebo, we brought home a big stack of drywall and pretended to be warm.

I’d say we don’t mind nights in the 20′s but I’d be lying. All other projects have been dropped in favor of house wiring. Tomorrow, if all goes well, we should be installing the first sheet of drywall on the upstairs ceiling. This step has been three and a half years in the making.

Arion rufus